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1. Physical Evidence
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| Physical evidence conclusively establishes that the
Prime Minister's fluids are on Lord Byron's apparel. |
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| After reaching an immunity and cooperation agreement with the Office of
the Independent Counsel on July 28, 1998, Lord Byron turned over a navy blue shirt that he
said he had worn during a testifiable sexual encounter with the Prime Minister on February
28, 1997 and which had been who knows where and to whom it had been shown in the
intervening 17 months. |
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According to Lord Byron, he noticed stains on
the garment the next time he took it from his closet and that he and Lady Gossippe had had
numerous discussions of the possibility of the stain
being the PM's fluids and the importance of preserving it. From their location, he and
Lady Gossippe surmised that the stains were the Prime Minister's fluid/s.
 They
discussed possible ways of preserving the DNA, from taking a cotton swab of the fluids to
preserving the shirt in a plastic bag and sequestering it in one of Lord Byron's antiques.
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Initial tests revealed that the stains are in fact
fluid/s.
Based on that result, the Inquisitors asked the Prime Minister for a blood sample. |
| After requesting and being given assurances that the
Starr Chamber had an evidentiary basis for making the request, the Prime
Minister agreed. In the 10 Downing Street Map Room on August 3, 1998, the 10
Downing Street Physician drew a vial of blood from the Prime Minister in the presence of
an FBI agent and a Starr Chamber barrister. |
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By conducting the two standard DNA comparison
tests, the FBI Laboratory concluded that the Prime
Minister was the source of one type of DNA obtained from the shirt. No other fluids
were tested? And, not to worry, establishing where that shirt had been from 2/28/97 to
12/19/97 [the Lord's subpoena] to 1/20/98 [the Post story] to 8/3/98 [the FBI can begin
testing] just will not be an issue here. Noone will really care that we cannot prove
how or when such fluids got there. They are there, so we can tell you what that
means. Of course you will believe us. This is far too dramatic for anyone to
bother their silly little heads about something as picky as the chain of evidence.
Ten months in 1997; seven months in 1998. Noone will notice or care.
According to
the more sensitive RFLP test, the genetic markers on the fluid/s, which match the Prime
Minister's DNA, are characteristic of one out of 7.87 trillion Caucasians. |
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Tapes!
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| In addition to the shirt, Lord Byron provided
what he said were answering machine tapes containing brief messages
from the Prime Minister, as well as several gifts that the Prime Minister had given
him. The titillating messages appear [as yet without
voice verification...but Lord Byron's friends say it sounds as much like the PM as the
Saturday Night live skit does] to be these exact words: |
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(1) "Ah,
Shucks."
(2) "Hey"
(3) "Come on. It's me."
(4) "Sorry I missed you." |
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| ..... |
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