PRELUDE

EPISODE 1

EPISODE 2

EPISODE 3

EPISODE 4

EPISODE 5

EPISODE 6

EPISODE 7

EPISODE 8

EPISODE 9

This episode is entitled "fakes, lies and perjury in Texas"

President Little Dubya Moron has run from the Oval Office back to his tiny 100,000 acre farm to breed Bushy Whackoes, leaving faithful Vice President Garden Gnome in charge.

Trent Lott, equipped with a prosthetic plastic head to replace the old one has reclaimed the greased cat from Dick Armey and again wears it proudly atop the plastic dome. The kittens have left home. In the Oval Office, Lott, Delay and Armey have gathered for a meeting with the VP who sits behind the desk.

Lott: "Mr. Garden Gnome, are you fully briefed on our new defense budget?

The Garden Gnome: 

Armey: Thank you, Mr. Vice President. Can I declare a war somewhere?

The Garden Gnome:

Delay: "Great. Let's invade Canada."

Armey: "Didn't we do that before?"

Delay: "That was Panama, Dick. Place with a canal somewhere."

Lott: "We've got a problem. President Moron has just been served with a summons to explain why he's claiming not to have bred 300 Balding Whackoes and 100 of the noxious Adulterous Whackoes and got the subsidy of a million bucks each, when he originally agreed not to breed only 200 in total."

Delay: "President Moron says he never agreed to not breed only 200."

Lott: "The state has a signed document."

Delay: "Dubya's not lying."

Lott: "Of course not! But how do we explain this? Mr. Vice President?

The Garden Gnome:

Lott: "Thank you, sir. The agreement not to breed 200 Whackoes results from a commie, pinko librul biased media which ignored the fact that he could have agreed not to breed 300 and the conversation he had with the State Controller of Not Breeding Whackoes Subsidies never took place because he was in Australia at the time and even if it did, they were only discussing golf scores."

Armey: "And what about all those envelopes from Richard Rainwater with hundreds of millions of dollars?

Lott: "Just petty cash to keep the farm running. Rainwater badly needed those Bushy Whackoes that Dubya bred."

Delay: "What for?"

Lott: "To drop in the ocean."

Delay: "Can I ride in Airforce One now?

Lott: "You'll need a bath, first. Will that be alright, Mr. Vice President?

The Garden Gnome:

Lott: "Thank you, sir."

The Greased Cat: "Jesus Harold Christ, I can't stand any more of this crap!"

The cat leaps off Lott's plastic head prosthesis, pees on the Garden Gnome and races into the Rose Garden.

What will happen? How will they explain Dubya Moron's claims for $300 million in not-breeding-whacko subsidies? Was the $200M that Rainwater gave the Moron just for petty cash to keep the farm breeding those essential Bushy Whackoes? 

Tune in again for Episode 7 of Mr. Moron Goes to Washington! and the episode entitled "The Garden Gnome Fights Back" 

Striker  ~~  4/19/2000