PRELUDE

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"NOTHING!!", thundered Bitter Trent Lott as Bitter Phil Gramm spilled his coffee on himself. "We've spent $100 MILLION dollars all told to get the president and we've got NOTHING!! Now Al Gore is tracking ahead of the Texas Dolt!".

"What about inventing a fundraising scandal?", offered Bitter Kay Hutchinson.

"Yeah", chimed in Bitter Tom DeLay, "we could investigate the Dolt's child donations this election and the illegal Wyly brothers connection."

"You IDIOT!!", shouted Bitter Trent Lott. "The Dolt is a REPUBLICAN!!".

Bitter Tom DeLay began his Bob Livingston, Hypocrite, is Resigning sobbing. "There were a hundred and thirty five convictions in the last Republican administrations and we've got NOTHING!! Hell, Bush Sr. pardoned more people than we got for our hundred million!!"

"What about running on the issues?," offered the Dolt.

"MORON!", Bitter Phil Gramm spat, "What are we supposed to do, go out there and tell people that we support gun violence, kitchen table abortions,
exploding national debt, pollution, negligent businesses, insurance companies, and closing public schools?".

"Is that my platform?", a disappointed Dolt asked.

"You IDIOT!", Bitter Kay Hutchinson screamed, "Just do what you're told and don't ask questions!"

A dejected Dolt joined Bitter Tom DeLay in sobbing. "It is decided then", Bitter Trent Lott concluded, "We stick to scandal mongering."

And on it went. And on. And on...

Mike Stone, April 2000