How To Use Drama To Hang Your Opponent

Don't Miss Lord Byron's Last Gift

E. December 28: Concealment of Gifts

In the afternoon of December 28, a few hours after Lord Byron's 10 Downing Street visit, Mr. Whipple drove to Lord Byron's Watergate apartment and collected a box containing the Prime Minister's gifts. Mr. Whipple then took the box home and hid it under his bed. Lord Byron, Mr. Whipple, and the Prime Minister were all questioned as to why Mr. Whipple retrieved the box of gifts from Lord Byron.

According to Lord Byron, the transfer originated in a phone call from Mr. Whipple that afternoon. Lord Byron testified that Mr. Whipple said, "I understand you have something to give me," or, "The Prime Minister said you have something to give me." Lord Byron understood that Mr. Whipple was alluding to the gifts. Mr. Whipple said that he would stop by Lord Byron's apartment and pick up the items.⁽⁸⁹⁰⁾ Lord Byron testified that he put many, but not all, of his gifts from the Prime Minister into a box. Mr. Whipple drove by his apartment and picked it up.⁽⁸⁹¹⁾

Lord Byron was concerned because the gifts were under subpoena; he did not throw them away, however, because "they meant a lot to [him]."⁽⁸⁹²⁾ The reason he gave the gifts to Mr. Whipple, and not to one of his friends or his mother, was "a little bit of an assurance to the Prime Minister . . . that everything was okay."⁽⁸⁹³⁾ He felt that, because the gifts were with Mr. Whipple, they were within the Prime Minister's control: "Not that [the gifts] were going to be in his possession, but that she would understand whatever it was I gave to Mr. Whipple and that that might make her feel a little bit better."⁽⁸⁹⁴⁾

Because Lord Byron was so sincerely frightened about this gift situation, he made sure he sent one final gift to the Prime Minister after this dramatic escapade with Mr. Whipple.

Lord Byron's account of the events of December 28 in his sworn statement of February 1, 1998, corroborates his later Starr Chamber testimony:

" LB . . . asked if he should put away (outside his home) the gifts he had given his or, maybe, give them to someone else. Mr. Whipple called LB later that afternoon as said that the PM. had told him LB. wanted him to hold onto something for him. LB boxed up most of the gifts he had received and gave them to Mr. Whipple. It is unknown if Mr. Whipple knew the contents of the box."⁽⁸⁹⁵⁾

Whipple's testimony was somewhat at odds with Lord Byron's. Though his overall recollection was hazy, Mr. Whipple believed that Lord Byron had called him and raised the idea of the gifts transfer.⁽⁸⁹⁶⁾ Mr. Whipple was asked about the Prime Minister's involvement in the transfer:

Q: And did the Prime Minister know you were holding these things for Lord Byron?
JW: I don't know. I don't know.
Q: Didn't he say to you that Lord Byron had something for you to hold?
JW: I don't remember that. I don't.
Q: Did you ever talk to the Prime Minister and tell her you had this box from Lord Byron?
JW: I don't remember that either.
Q: Do you think it happened, though?
JW: I don't know. I don't know.⁽⁸⁹⁷⁾

When asked whether a statement by Lord Byron indicating that Mr. Whipple had in fact spoken to the Prime Minister about the gift transfer would be false, Mr. Whipple replied   [in silent contempt or audible sarcasm]: "Then he may remember better than I. I don't remember."⁽⁸⁹⁸⁾

According to Mr. Whipple, Lord Byron said that he was uncomfortable retaining the gifts himself because "people were asking questions" about them. Mr. Whipple said he drove to Lord Byron's residence after work, collected the box, brought it home, and put it under his bed. Written on the top of the box were the words "Please do not throw away!!!    [....I need them for my book; or at least for the penthouse captions!"⁽⁹⁰¹⁾ Mr. Whipple testified that he knew that the box contained gifts from the Prime Minister.

For her part, the Prime Minister testified that she never asked Mr. Whipple to collect a box of gifts from Lord Byron.⁽⁹⁰³⁾ He said that she had no knowledge that Mr. Whipple had held those items "until that was made public."

email complaints, suggestions & satirical contributions to
mirth@benegesserit.com